The Disappearing Air
I’m Not Saying You SHOULD Steal From Wal-Mart, I’m Just Saying You COULD…
According to an internal memo, Wal-Mart has decided to stop seeking prosecution against people who steal goods worth less than $25 from its stores. It will also stop prosecuting people under 18 or over 64 years of age.
The previous bar was set at $3, under a virtually zero-tolerance policy instituted by Evil Sam himself. But the company recently figured that it was losing money by pursuing these mini-thefts, and decided to stop doing so. (In some towns, police were so overwhelmed by calls from Wal-Mart that they had to add extra officers – yet another tax on the public associated with the company, which just today managed to wangle itself out of paying health benefits to employees in Maryland.)
Does this mean that you should shoplift in Wal-Mart without fear? Probably not. And you shouldn’t, you naughty devil. But if we ALL did, every one of us, we could put the bastards out of business for good. Imagine, 200 million shoplifters each pocketing $20 worth of Chinese-made crap – that’s $4 billion! Enough to make a pretty big dent in the Evil Empire’s balance sheet.
Anyone for a nationwide Steal-A-Thon?
(Just kidding.)
OR AM I??? MWAH HA HA! WAHA HA HA HA HA!